* Yes mom, my sinuses are completely closed off from allergies…in October. Definitely not from the 1/2 a gram of coke I snorted with my friend after going out for “just a beer”, and then staying up until 8 in the morning right before I was about to rent a car and drive eight hours. Why would anyone do that?

  And yes, I’d love a benadryl, thank you.

*  It…is…so…QUIET…here.

*  I should call my grandma, more. She’s a nice lady.

*  Random girl at stranger’s b-day party:”Well, if anyone knows what the solution to giving head is, I’d love to know!”

  Only mildly drunk ALFC: “Uh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that: it’s called “anal”. 

  (Howling laughter)

* Well,  here I am drunk, hanging out with my ex, on her bed, again. I’m pretty sure we both have fantasies about having kids someday, but we’re still not fucking.  There’s a few holes in that ship.

  And, her boyfriend keeps calling.

* This place is my favorite place in the world. I’m not saying that there’s no better place on Earth. But, of the places I’ve been, it’s the place I love the most. 

  And I will not tell you where it is, because I’m selfish, and want to keep it for myself.

* Of course the food on an island is over-rated; it’s all they know.

* God bless Cali CostCo’s, and all the giant tequila bottles they sell.

* It’s really saying something when you hate your job, your home, and your social circle, but don’t want to leave your city. And when another city is home to your beloved family, and friends, yet you’d rather eat shit for breakfast than ever live there, again.

* Thanks for the Ativan, mom. I learned it’s good for taking the edge off of seven hour drives.

* Road tunes (for there) —Destroyer, Kaputt. Drive sndtrk, mixed with College, Teenage Colors. Neon Indian, Era Extrana. Broken Bells. Jay Z, Blueprint. Mix CD from sis, named: YOU FUCK UGLY BEARS.

(for home) Above mentioned list, and Adele, 21. Steely Dan, mix. Flight of the Conchords, Best of. Goldfrapp, a mix of Seventh Tree, and Black Cherry.

  Home again, home again. Jiggity jig.